Zigging and Zagging
by MatsuHerO
Summary: Matsu Her-O tries to help Ziggy feel better about himself.


NOTE: This is a continuation of my friend's comic! I promised I'd do this a while ago and finally did it! You can see the comic here:

. /comic/ziggy-and-steampunk-gorgon/

He drew Matsu really wrong, though! He also helped with Milty's lines.

Matsu Her-O strode through the Armageddon Zebra, greeting his various friends and allies, all while his chosen team followed behind. Pokemaster Terrapin, ever stoic, kept pace with the vampire Ethan Crane. A robot, about half the height of an average man, was floating between them. The robot's name was Milty, and he was the inspiration for today's mission.

He managed to float next to Matsu and asked, "What do you mean by fix Ziggy?"

"You said it was sub-par, and so we'll make it par," said Matsu.

"We can't really do that," said Milty. "That's not how things should work. If you really want to do something, find a way to make the Toms Wilson listen to you when you tell them their comic could be better."

"That would take far too long. Instead, I've had the ship's computer, Sarah, set the coordinates to the universe where Ziggy is real," explained Matsu.

Terrapin spoke up, "Wait, wasn't the ship's computer named Bridgette? After the girl you're supposedly doing this for?"

"That's right," said Ethan. "I remember that!"

"No," said Matsu. "The girl, and the computer, have always been named Sarah. You two must have just misheard. Anyway, I read the archives of Ziggy in order to find out why his strip is so bland, and you know what I found?"

"Well, he's an incredibly passive character," said Milty. "He's always just resigned to his fate, the punching bag of his universe."

"That, and he needs to be more assertive," added Matsu.

Milty's eye-shields narrowed, giving him a look of intense thought. "That's basically what I just said."

"I have a twelve step plan that will take Ziggy from being a zero to being a hero," said Matsu, and then he winked at Milty. "Or, should I say, a Her-O?"

"Oh no," said Terrapin.

Milty asked, "What?"

"He said Her-O, not hero," said Terrapin.

Milty didn't understand. "Your point?"

"I just don't think this can end well."

#

The Armageddon Zebra passed through multiple universes on its way to Ziggy's home turf, with Matsa keeping track of what was going on in each one. They all seemed quiet, but that could change. Matsa She-Ro was looking out the window and wishing that Matsu would give her the attention that she wanted from him, but he always seemed to busy and aloof. He had the weight of the Fictosphere on his broad muscular shoulders, after all. He probably had no time for love. Instead, she would converse with Milty, who they were supposed to drop off somewhere. Matsa wasn't sure where.

"I just don't understand why he's trying to fix Ziggy," droned Milty. "Does he do this a lot?"

"He fixed Funky Winkerbean once," said Matsa. "I think it's in the strip's future."

"It must be, because that strip is still terrible," said Milty. "Do these things usually work out for the best?"

"Always," said Matsa. She was aware that Terrapin was behind her, mouthing something Star Trek, but she chose to ignore him. They had entered Ziggy space, and it was time for the team to disembark. Matsu entered the room and grabbed Terrapin, leaping out of the air lock. Matsa and Ethan followed, and eventually, Milty followed as well.

"You said you had twelve steps," said Milty. "What are they?"

"Step one is to just let Ziggy know he has some friends," said Matsu. "I mean, he kind of does, with the animals. I mean real friends. Me. I mean I'll tell him I'm his friend.

"Step two is to let him beat on someone for a little bit, with his words. I figure we'd show him what you said about him and let him go to town."

"Fair is fair," said Milty. "I'm always willing to meet the subjects of my reviews for some reasonable discourse."

"Good, good. Three, four, and five are to get him some hair, pants, and ears. I figure something spiky and black for the hair. Blue for the pants," explained Matsu.

"Wait, he'd look like you, then," said Milty.

"Yeah, well, stage 12 is to turn him into Chibi Matsu and invite him to come with me. That'll pick his spirits up and then his comic strip will just kick ass," said Matsu.

"You skipped a bunch of steps," said Milty.

"Nope," said Matsu.

He saw Milty share a look with Terrapin. The Pokemaster just shook his head, and then they landed on Ziggy's back lawn. There were some rabbits there, angrily going through the vegetables.

"We've told him a hundred times," said one of the rabbits, munching on some lettuce. "Romaine, not iceberg. This guy, right? This just absolute numbskull."

Matsu kicked the rabbit, sending it into orbit. The other rabbits took one look at him and ran. He knocked on the door and Ziggy answered, his face covered by a frown that emanated resignation.

"Ziggy, today is your lucky day, because you're going to stop being Ziggy and start being Chibi Matsu!" said Matsu. "My friends and I are your friends, and we want to help you become the most you can be!"

Ziggy looked concerned, but he replied, "Okay?"

"You know, I think we'll get you kitted out first," said Matsu. "Matsa, bring the gear!"

Matsa was carrying a box, and she brought it over and placed it on the ground and pulled out a blue pair of pants.

"These are for you," she said, smiling.

When she handed them over, her hand brushed Ziggy's and the little man seemed to seize up a little. He went inside and came out, pants on.

"You're already looking happier and more like Matsu," said Matsa, and she rubbed his bald little head. Ziggy's eyes rolled into his head, he stopped breathing, and then he toppled to the ground. Matsa looked at him. "What happened?"

"The little git's heart exploded," said Ethan cheerfully. "I'd say you fixed him, but good!"

"Wait, you killed Ziggy?" Milty the robot started freaking out. "Oh my god, you killed Ziggy! You killed a beloved comic strip character!"

"You said his stuff was bland," said Matsu.

"That doesn't mean I wanted him dead," snapped Milty. "Oh no. Someone is going to notice and then it'll be straight back to that Law place. What are we going to do?"

"We usually just leave," said Matsu, and they did.


End file.
